We're tired and hungry having traveled all day. We flew from LA to Springfield, MA. I flew earliest to pickup up a sprinter van in NYC, then drove through rush hour traffic to Springfield to meet the group at the airport. This sounds easy but it's a full day. And we've done it for about twelve months in a row now. This is waking up at 4 AM and moving, moving, moving and eating fast and cheap when possible.
The restaurant / bar is across the street from our hotel. It was the only thing open.
Turns out they're friendly. They bring us menus. We go through our normal routine of ordering substitutions like avocado instead of meat (in a BBQ restaurant), no cheese rather than extra cheese, and Sam orders green tea with almond milk instead of a beer. This generally throws servers for a loop in places like this. But our expectations align and we order. Monday Night Football is on. It's quiet so we settle in.
Two minutes after we order a band shuffles on to a stage to our right. WTF is this? We hadn't noticed band gear. This isn't going to be pretty. A loud band. Is this a joke? We put on concerts for a living, the last place we want to be on an off-day is at a bar with live music. Does a plumber fix toilets all day and then come home and fix his own?
This is bad for both us and the band. We are the audience at a show where we don't want to be. Our table of ten is in the middle of the floor. It's a female jazz singer with a 4-piece band. Playing at a bar. On Thursday night. But the place is empty. Clearly something is off. But these are the gigs you have to do if you are a young struggling band.
We both sympathize with and loathe her. We begrudgingly eat trying to see the humor, and leave defeated.
That is STORY 1
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The vicissitudes of travel are difficult to deal with but are certain to happen. The definition of vicissitude is:
a change of circumstances or fortune, typically one that is unwelcome or unpleasant.When traveling, things go wrong. Especially in airports. Traveling is difficult because there are uncertainties around basic needs like food, sleep, internet, and coffee.
And traveling, in general, is set up only for failure. Does a flight ever arrive four hours early? Of course not, only four hours late. Travel only gets worse with regards to time. It's like an asymmetrical trade, much more potential downside than upside. Best case is that I arrive on time, worst case, hours or days late.
On any given day when flying, the best case scenario is that I arrive, say, twenty minutes early, and get upgraded to a better seat, or better hotel room. That's best case scenario.
I could also arrive eight hours late. Or not fly at all and have to stay in the airport all day, then go back home or find a hotel and try again the next day. I wouldn't have my luggage because it's been checked. Should I want my luggage, it would take more waiting and uncertainty.
So best case it goes as planned, worst case I enter an indefinite land of waiting and uncertainty.
It has to do with expectations. Obviously if I go to the airport, I expect to fly that day. And since the airlines give hard departure times, I expect to depart at those times. When that doesn't happen it causes pain.
The earth continues to rotate around the sun, clocks continue to move forward, but I sit waiting in the terminal.
It should be no problem to sit and wait. I have a phone and computer with instant access to more content than a person could ever possibly consume. But I am highly optimized. I have plans. And those plans don't include sitting in a terminal for an indeterminate amount of time.
My plans include getting dinner at the restaurant across the street from the hotel after landing. And then hitting the gym. I also want to check email, read, and have a beer. I already looked up the restaurant and gym on my phone. I've planned it out, and visualized it.
However, reality might be that I spend the next eight hours sitting in the terminal waiting for a delayed flight to depart. In which case, my plans would be desire.
Desire can be dangerous and self-defeating. The definition is:
a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happenI wish to eat at the restaurant, I want to work out afterward. I'm now delayed. I'm now unhappy.
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STORY 2:
Adam is flying from Rochester, home to LA, with a stopover in Atlanta (ROC-ATL-LAX). He's on the last flight out of Rochester, which departs at 6 PM. It's delayed. The plane sits on the tarmac for two hours. Just long enough that there's a chance he could make the ATL-LAX connection. He lands in Atlanta, runs to the gate but misses the flight.
There's one more flight from ATL to LAX that night. But it's full. However, his luggage goes ahead on that flight without him. Because that's how checked luggage works. It always goes to the final destination as soon as possible whether the person is on the flight or not.
So he stays in Atlanta that night without luggage, and wakes up at 3:30 AM the next morning to take the 6 AM departure.
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Maslow's hierarchy of needs can be represented as a pyramid with the more basic needs at the bottom.
If the goal is to self-actualize (thinking, learning, decision making, values, beliefs, fulfillment, helping others), being delayed in an airport for an indeterminate amount of time is going to disrupt that. But it doesn't have to stop me from self-actualizing.
Level 1: Physiological - I can still breathe. I can find food and water
Level 2: Safety - I have shelter in a climate-controlled building
Level 3: Love / belonging - I have love from, and communication with, others
Level 4: Esteem - I will have to deal with fear, sadness, loneliness, happiness, accepting self
If I can navigate the disruption in these needs, I can still feel fulfilled and find meaning and purpose in life.
Being delayed isn't going to cause me to starve to death in the airport; or freeze or be caused physical harm; or lose a relationship; or cause people to lose respect for me. It will disrupt my needs, but it's not unmanageable.
If the earth stops rotating around the sun I'll have a real problem. But other than that, being delayed is manageable.
It's just more difficult than not traveling. The day is set up for absolute best-case scenario, which is that I arrive on time. There's only downside potential.
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STORY 3:
We fly Calgary to Seattle and arrive at 11 AM (YYC-SEA). From the airport, we go to an event for a radio station at the Space Needle. A great place for an event but a nightmare of a place to park the two vans we're driving. And we're late! so that adds to the rush.
After that, a second radio event at a club in downtown. Then we drive 60 miles outside of Seattle to play a show at a small festival on the pass of a mountain. Another great place for an event. Except for the wild swings of weather that occur on a mountain pass. So despite the fact that it's July, it's forty degrees, rainy and windy. And we play at 10pm.
After the show, we pack up, and drive back to the Seattle airport where our hotel is. We fly to Houston tomorrow for a radio festival and depart at 6 AM. That means we need to be at the airport at 4 AM. Which means we need to wake up at 3:30 AM.
It's 2 AM by the time we get to the hotel. There is one girl at reception and it must be her first night. She has no idea what she's doing. It takes way too long to check-in but finally we get our keys. I walk to my room but the key doesn't work. I try over and over. It's either the wrong room, or the wrong key. So I drag my luggage back to the counter. The girl is gone. There's a sign, "back in 10 minutes”.
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The waiting and uncertainty can cause me to fall into a feedback loop on my phone. I fall further and further down a recursive hole trying to pass time like tunnel vision. I check the same apps over and over. The dopamine hits become weak and diluted until my mind is both blank and exhausted. It's like a drug that becomes diluted with overuse.
The best defense is to try and stay present, and keep a sense of humor. Try and step outside of myself and find the humor in the situation.
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STORY 4:
I wake up, it's Sunday morning. We're staying at a hotel in downtown Louisville, KY. I have an hour until we leave. Downtown Louisville is like all the other cities in the Midwest in that it's being "revitalized". It once had a vibrant downtown scene. Then "white flight" and everyone moved to the suburbs. Downtown was gutted. But now it's being revitalized by young people moving back.
So there are rows of restaurants and bars. But they aren't open on Sunday morning. It's a ghost town. There are two options for breakfast: my hotel restaurant where I can sit down with slow wait service and get eggs, toast and coffee for $20 or walk to Dunkin Donuts. I opt for Dunkin Donuts.
Inside is a line of 6 - 8 people. No one is behind the register or counter. No one appears to be working at Dunkin Donuts at all. The racks are empty behind the counter where the donuts are supposed to be displayed. Everyone in line is staring at his or her phone looking disgruntled.
I scope it out for about thirty seconds, and finally a kid walks out from the back. He looks like a deer in headlights. I know how this is going to go: I'll stand here for 10-15 minutes and end up frustrated just like everyone else.
So I opt for hunger instead and walk out. I recently listened to a podcast about the benefits of fasting. So I tell myself this will be an experiment.
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The daily stories of travel like these are too many to recall and too mundane to tell. For someone who travels routinely it's normal. But if I were to describe them on a daily basis it would sound like complaining. It is "character building". The definition of character building is:
requiring effort or endurance to a degree that strengthens or improves a person's character.Therefore, the vicissitudes of travel build character.
Taken singularly, none of these tribulations are that difficult. But multiply a dozen instances in a day by 'x' number of consecutive days, weeks, months, years and it becomes a grind.
It's a grind because there are uncertainties around basic staples of life like food, coffee, internet, etc; and the basic expectations of life like when and where I eat and sleep.
When I'm at home there are uncertainties, and things go wrong. But I know about the staples of life. When I wake up in my bedroom I don't say to myself "where is there coffee?" or "what is the internet password so I can do work?" When I'm on the road I ask these questions every day.
Asking these questions and having things go wrong is what gives professional travelers their humor and sarcasm. It's why amateur travelers go berserk in airports. People get carnal because they aren't used to the vicissitudes of travel.
It will either drive me mad or give me the patience of a Buddhist monk.
People who don't often travel think romantic thoughts about travel. Professional travelers learn to expect unexpected things, and act and plan accordingly. At the very least, they don't devolve into barbaric tirades in airports.