This used to be a challenge but now it's easy. I know the variables well enough that I can see the day play out in my head when I first wake up.
It's 3:32 AM and my alarm went off at 3:30. Those two minutes I spend visualizing the day.
I get up and go. I'm downstairs now, its 4:00 AM, and our driver is late, hasn't arrived, overslept. That never happens with private car companies. Luckily we're in Denver, somewhat of a real city, and an UBER Black SUV is 4 minutes away. I book it for the rest of the crew and get in the cargo van with the driver and gear. The cargo van picked up the gear last night after the show, and held it over night.
Our fly gear is approx 1200 pounds, 30 pieces. With suitcases it's 35 total at about 1400 pounds and we're going to check it onto a commercial flight fast and cheap. We usually use a cargo company to transport the gear but on back-to-back fly dates that isn't possible. They can't guarantee the delivery. So we carry it ourselves.
We used to have less stuff, and we used to check it all the time, but at a certain point it becomes cheaper and easier to use a cargo company. Either way, we're checking it today.
We pull up to the terminal at 4:30 and the airport is at about 5% capacity in terms of people, lines, cars. In a little over an hour it'll be at 95% capacity per the usual cyclical chaos that airports see every few hours. But we'll already be in the Delta lounge drinking coffee at that point.
There's one Skycap porter at the curbside check-in and two passengers nearby who look lost. He asks them "do you guys have bags"? They go into the terminal to check in there. I say, "I have some bags for you. We have 35 pieces, media bags." The key word is MEDIA BAGS. The other key is to tell him exactly how many PIECES we have at the outset.
I tell him, "I got you covered. We have 5 passengers on the 7:00 AM departure to Seattle,
with Seattle as a final destination. The other passengers are just behind me. We have 35 pieces total."
"Great, ok, do you want to check here or go inside? Do you have a Media badge? And can I see your ID?"
I
show him the pass and he says, "That's what I'm looking for!". I tell
him we can check in here or inside, whatever he wants. He wants to do it
curbside.
Few people realize you are even supposed to tip Skycap porters. The fabric of society is complex, and productive members of society tip Skycaps. The general rule is $1 to $2 per bag. I already know I'm going to tip $80, which will be the biggest tip he'll receive all day. But it's worth it because we're going to save thousands of dollars using my MEDIA PASS that I printed and laminated at Kinko's for $2.16.
Checking in is a slow but fast process. He has to weigh and tag every bag. It'll take about 30 minutes. It's slow compared to the normal 2-bag procedure, but it's fast considering the weight and volume.
The media rate lets a person check up to 25 bags per passenger, at $50 per bag, so long as the bag is under 99 pounds. Compare that to the standard rates of a 3rd bag @ $100, and
anything over 50 pounds @ $175. Basically, instead of approx $3500 it'll be $1000. And that's for 5 passengers. If we had all 10 band and crew our frequent flyer status would knock it down to $250 after everyone's free bags.
The rest of the crew pull up and we're well on our way. By the time we finish it's 5:00 AM, the first departures are two hours away. There are 4-5 people in line behind me. These are the final moments of serenity before the airport ramps up. The sun was coming up. The sky turned from black to purple to orange. The porter thanks me, and then shakes my hand and thanks me again, "Thanks for showing up early".
5 minutes later we're through security and 5 minutes after that we're in the lounge drinking coffee.
***********************
On the other side, our driver is standing at the bottom of the escalator holding a sign with my name on it.
I grab two porters and tell them we have 35 media bags and we'll need both carts.
The gear starts coming out on the carousel. It comes out first because we have priority stickers and I imagine the airlines prefer to put our gear on the airplanes last. Last in, first out. It's a spectacle and people always ask, "are you in a band or something?"
The porters load the gear right away with whatever pieces they first grab. We try to tell them we know the best way to load the carts. They don't listen, probably because they are working for tips and feel obligated. We used to argue but now we just watch them load the carts, and then reload them.
The driver leads the way to where the vans will pull up. It's important to know exactly where you are taking the gear because this convoy has an inertia that is difficult to change. You can't exactly wheel two 700-pound carts around an airport terminal, up and down elevators or over curbs. You want to go exactly from point A to point B.
The drivers pull up outside: one cargo van and one passenger van. The cargo van with all rows of seats removed is key. Its like having the right tool for a specific job. Many times car companies or promoters will send vans that still have seats in them. What an incredibly huge fucking pain in the ass that is when it happens. It's like trying to turn a screw with a hammer. It's the wrong tool.
At one point the porters push the cart off the curb and the handle buckles under the weight and the gear scatters. We'd be upset except that's exactly what the cases are designed for, and I know that's nothing compared to what probably goes on behind the scenes at an airport. Once a gate agent slipped and accidentally told us that the loaders behind the scenes at airports call FRAGILE stickers KICK ME stickers. So the proper cases are key.
I tip the porters and close the van doors. It's 9:00 AM and our day has just started.